sayang anak timang-timang kan

jumuah mubarakah!

today nk ngadu pasal perasaan diri sendiri bile pk kan ttg anak sendiri. honestly, since dh jd mak ni emosi jadi cpt sgt tersentuh. i remembered listening to one of my boss's story about his illness. mmg begenang air mata. xbole control walaupun hakikat nye i fikir "xkan la gua nk nangis dpn boss kut?!" i've tried to hold back, tp xbole. same la kalo dgr cerita2 lain yg shocking, i mmg xbole tahan. sbb tu la, i mane tgk kisah arwah adik adam ape tu name die? video amah baling anak tu pon i xtgk. xpela, i tau perasaan mak ayah anak2 tu. tp i xpayah tgk pon xpe.

actually i started to trigger abt today's feeling pagi td. mase tu nak amik susu dian from the freezer utk dibawak ke rumah mak. i kire2 total tinggal 10botol je (sbb skrg i dh increase kan isipadu from 3oz to 4oz per bottle since demand dian dh meningkat) n for today's pnye kegunaan i stok kan 8 botol. tp mengenang kan stok beku ade 10 saje i started to ponder, what will happen to dian if suddenly anything bad happen to me? nauzubillah, i know.. just what if.. maka, i start la terpandang2 muke budak kecik tu. sayu rasenye.. mcmane la org bole sanggup buang anak tu. baby tu kan comel. nak buat ape pon xbole. unless la ko buang die reti pukul nyamuk sendiri, carik susu sndiri. ni diorg ape pon xreti. 

ok, back to dian. i noticed that dian skrg dh pandai knal mak die. skrg ni start la tekenang yg i sometimes marah die sbb nangis xtentu pasal. kesian kan.. tantah die sekadar nk bermanja. i cant imagine a day without her voice, her touch. so i pray real hard for god to not to keep us apart. mase tuka lampin dian smlm pon i terfikir, one day, she gonna grow up n get married. i bkn xkasi, but things are going to get change. n can i handle the changes then? allahualam.. skrg i dh paham perasaan mak2 yg menangis meraung bile anak diorg mati dlm accident ke ape bile tgk berita. i might do the same kalo bnde tu terjadi pada i. ya allah, tolong la pjg kan umur kami anak beranak.. 

even yesterday mase dlm kereta, otak i ni tetibe je terfikir yg i rase mcm xnak beranak lagi. sbb kesian kan dian. hahaha.. dian is my precious skrg ni. will do anythng for her. kalo bole xnk die sakit sikit pon. kecuali la kalo sakit for good kan. contoh mcm kalo kne cucuk tu, i always reminded her to stay calm cause its nothing. cume satu suntikan yg sekejap. so she got to be strong.

overall, im not a paranoid mom. dian dh merasa mcm2 such as honeystar, red velvet's cream and alhamdulillah die ok je. i xberniat buruk. i just nak kasi die rase mknan yg sedap. n nope, i bkn kasi die mkn. i kasi die rase ye.. rase.. cume itu la, i dont want anythng bad to happen to her. everytime buat susu dian (expressing myself) i akan start kan dgn doa. moga2 i bole catch up blk produce more stocks for dian. she's growing up with my milk so im proud of her. die berat ke ringan ke thats all because of my milk. i hope she likes it n can get all the benefit out of it. insyallah..

dian plak is an easy baby. so far dian xpnah demam. alhamdulillah.. die pon sgt mudah n stakat ni menerima ape yg kitorg buat dgn die tanpa merengek ke ape. contoh mcm pakai headband, unlike some babies i used to know, kadang2 xsuke letak pape kt kepala diorg tp alhamdulillah dian ok je. selagi org xcabut, selagi tu la die pakai. n that makes her even cuter. pakai safety belt kt stroller pon die redhooo je..  syukur anak ku xmenyusahkan.

glad that now dh pon pkul 2pm. berapa jam je lagi utk berjumpe blk dgn dian. lps tu esok cuti n hooray!!! more time to spend with dear dian.. *terus gembira pk kan esok*

i doa kan supaya sume mother daughter n mother son out there akan bersama2 mengerat kan silaturrahim bersama anak masing2. especially utk diri sndiri, even though berat dh over 8kg, i dont mind to carry her around where ever i go. she's more than any coach or LV or gucci. she's dian. made by god through me n husband. be proud of your own product. yeah oh yeah..

dian - made with love..