i am still grieving

i lost my phone.

to those yg ade fb or ig aku kompom dh tau. xtau mcmane nk express kesedihan dlm hati. kesedihan ni got nothing to do with the wtv contacts or photos or videos or wtv things i have inside the phone. but i feel so sad sbb hp tu aku dpt sempena my previous birthday. blerghhhhh.. xpenah rase down berhari2 utk bende yg aku hilang se lama ni.

i lost the phone on sunday n skrg wednesday pon xdpt nk jumpe lg. mungkin ke phone tu skrg ade kt tgn org lain? tuhan je yg tau. tp kalo ikut kan, hp tu hilang kt rumah. so, i still hope yg hp tu masih bertuan kan aku instead of org lain. 

selama kehilangan handphone tu, mulut ni xlekang berdoa mintak supaya Allah temukan balik aku dgn phone tu. hahaha.. to that extend! but seriously, i want it so bad. kalo ade org offer beli phone baru pon blom tentu aku nak. aku nak phone aku yg tu balik. that samsung s4 yang mak aku beli dgn adik2 aku for my birthday kat kedai kat subang..

ntah knp phone tu slalu je kenakan aku. about a month ago die buat prangai xbole di-charge. tp aku semangat n gagahi jgak hantar die gi service. gado2 aku laki bini. ni bile dh elok hilang plak. i cant stop blaming myself. if only u knew how much effort my mom made to get me the phone. utk seorg mak yg berumur 55thn dan ade anak lain aku rase mcm touched jgak la. 

i told mak how bad i felt towards the lost. mak kate org xde akal je yg purposely hilang kan brg die. mak kate its ok. brg tu pon tuhan pinjam kan utk kite pakai. but mak, hp tu hilang sbb fira careless, bongok pi xingat phone tu letak mane.

have tried few doa n tips kawan bagi utk menjumpakan barang hilang. tp still no signs of having it back. xpela, kalo ade rezeki ade la. kalo x, aku redhoooooo.. T_T

last posing dgn phone tu..

mintak doa skali ye kut2 kite doa reramai Allah terbukak ati nk pulang kan phone tu kat i. #lapairhingus

Noor Dian Medina - Milestone

baru perasan yg aku dh lame xshare pasal progress dian. well, dian dh besar skrg. aku pon ade terlalu byk benda going on in my life. byk transition yg nak kne settle. but alhamdulillah, masih dpt enjoy achievement anak satu persatu.

dian skrg 11bln 3minggu. lagi 2minggu genap umur dian setahun. cuma tuhan yang tau betapa bersyukurnye aku jadi mak dian. seronok!!!

dian skrg dh ada 8btg gigi and dah tau kunyah makanan. so makanan die xpayah dh nk blend2. aku ni mmg jenis selamba je suap dian ape je yg aku mkn kecuali la kalo makanan tu pedas ke ape. knowing my taste pon mmg suke yg simple2, so most of it bole share dgn dian. dian lovesssss nasi lemak. so akan slalu share nasi lemak dgn die. n so does nasi ayam. kalau aku keluar mkn dgn azam normally kami akan order creamy soup (chicken/mushroom) or french fries utk dian. mmg die akan mkn smpai abis satu bowl. kadang2 rase bersalah sbb tgk org lain kemain jaga diet anak. aku ni belasah je ape pon. kalo dian baca ni bile dian dh besar, just so u know, bukan sbb mak xsayang dian mak bagi dian mkn fries la ape la, tp mak rase u r big enough to enjoy it. jahat la mak kalo mkn mekdi pstu suap dian porridge tanpa garam. unless la mak ni pon mmg diet onye org. lps tu plak mak dian ni mmg fail bab masak2. harap dian paham. tp mak xrase semata sbb tu dian rasa mak xsayang dian kan???

skrg ni alhamdulillah dian masih exclusive breastfeed. pnah jugak terfikir nk beli fm utk stand by sbb skrg ni susu aku xla byk sgt. kadang2 kesian dian minum air putih je xminum susu. mcm skrg ni semata2 sbb lupe store susu yg pam ari tu terus lost tune supply susu dian. kalo nak keep track blk bole, tp aku kne telebih rajin la. insyallah mlm ni nk melebihkan rajin tu since badan dh sihat skit ni.

n btw, dian skrg dh berjaya jalan like a pro. huyung hayang gak la skit tp ok la for an 11mths baby. mslh yg kami hadapi skrg ialah mencari kasut yg sesuai utk dian. dian pnye kaki ni satu mcm sikit. tapak kaki die normal je pjg nye mcm baby lain, tp tebal kaki die tu yg... how to say eh? tebal laa.. kadang2 kesian kaki die sampai berbekas agaknya sbb ketat sgt kt bahagian atas tapak kaki tu. 

but the best part about dian, she loves loves lovessss to smile and laugh. n marah too. she's a baby with full of expression. n syukur die xbyk ragam n senang mengamuk. she's very easy to pujuk, alhamdulillah..

waktu tdo dian dari dulu smpai skrg sentiasa awal. she sleeps around 8-9pm daily. senang kje mak. kikiki.. pstu bgn pagi pon msti la awal kan. awal pon xla awal sgt. same je mcm kite2 sume bgn subuh. pendek kate, dian sgt senang dihandle when it comes to tdo malam. bgn mlm mintak susu pon jarang. so, i dnt have to face those sleepless night sgt.

ok la.. itu saje. sekian..

What-a-day Wednesday

assalamualaikum..

hari ni perasaan mcm tah pape. rase mcm ok rase mcm xok. actually sebenarnye dh ok dh. cume sakit badan ni buat aku rase nak nangis. 

tak tau knp since smlm bdn rase mcm sengal2. rasa mcm penat sgt. pdhal dok dlm opis je. kalo suruh aku describe rase die skrg ni actually aku rase mcm rangka peparu blah blkg aku ni nk tanggal. 

so last nite, mmg xbole tdo lena. sejuk, dian ok ek ok ek, sejuk, lenguh, sejuk, sejuk, panas, sejuk, panas, panas, sejuk. tu pon aku dh telan 2bijik panadol actifast. so bgn pagi ni still rase mcm tulang2 nk runtuh. tp mengenangkan hari ni ade mission yg msti diselesaikan, aku gagahi je. 

elok dh nk bersiap gi opis skali bukak bag pam nampak ade 2botol susu dian yg masing2 berisi 4oz susu selamat semadi kat situ. demm it.. dian dh la xde susu lain. kitorg ibarat kais hari ni minum esok. xkais hari ni x minum la esok. tp case skrg dh kais tp telupe simpan dlm fridge!!!!!!

ok, skrg br terfikir. ade hikmah. mayb susu tu xelok kalo dian minum. n kalau xsebab aku kne balik pam susu n hantar ke dian, aku xdpt nk rest kjap during lunch hour. nak baringggggggg..

but above all, mission aku dh accomplished. i finally tendered my resignation at my company ni. yayyy!!!! legaaaaa.. tp sakit badan..

im looking for replacement for my current position. im a secretary at IDCC (Shah Alam's new convention centre and shopping mall). building xsiap lg tp dijangka siap 1st quarter of next year. in case u wonder, its the huge building kt tepi federal highway. kalo ade yg minat bole email resume to fira@idcc.com.my. kalo nak tanye2 je ke bole email kt my personal address zafira.a.alias@gmail.com. preferably kalo background in hospitality and f&b. harap sgt kalo ade yg bole start ASAP. because december, i nak start kje kt kampeni baru. 

sime darby pnye pasal, non-exec pon non-exec la. janji gaji ngam n bermula la satu perjalanan career yg baru. insyallah..

so, kalo ade yg nk kje tu let me know ye.. the sooner the better!

bye.

dilemma : org gaji dgn nursery

selamat pagi, salam sejahtera.. hari ni mood yours truly xbrape nk baik. reason adalah sebab pagi2 dh sumpah seranah maid yg suke2 hati nak amik cuti. seriously, benci nk tolerate dgn org yg penting kan diri sndiri. xpk ke brape ramai org yg akan disusah kan bile die decide nk amik cuti. n because aku xde choice (since mak pon xde die pgi penang) aku terpaksa la terima je fact yg die nk cuti tu. so, terpaksa carik solution lain. mujur husband xkje hari ni. n kat rumah die pon slalu ade org. so, harap kan dorg je la tolong tgk2 kan dian. 

td husband ade ckp, xbole ke ckp dgn kak umi tu kalo xdtg kje potong gaji or wtv. biar die sedar yg die dh susah kan org. but i dont have heart to say that. maybe sbb skrg ni xde choice n i pretty much rely on her to look after dian while im at work. dilemma kan? n seriously, i never like the idea of asking the moms to look after my child. once awhile ok. but everyday, nahhhh.. 

dulu aku pnah google around konon nk ade second option by sending dian at a day care or something. baby sitter, xkut.. same je mcm kak umi. so mayb nursery. bile keadaan dh jd mcm ni, baru la aku beria nk pilih 2nd option tu. kalo xaku buat relax je. i remember the last time aku pk nk hantar dian ke nursery mase tu dian dlm 6-7bln. still too baby. so aku letak tepi dulu idea tu. nak pulak nursery around my area sume mcm hangsap je. tp skrg aku terfikir balik since dian pon dh pandai jalan n dah pandai roaming around the house.

maybe aku akan propose to husband about this idea. today sambung blk google n aku br tau kt seksyen24 ade satu branch bondamama baru bukak. tahun ni jgak aku rasa. pretty impress with the centre since lisa pon hantar hannah kt bondamama puchong. kt situ anak die buat kad, ade celebration this n that. n i think its pretty cool! skrg maybe aku xhantar lg but mayb aku nk consider once dian is one and a half or two perhaps? when she can already understand no, cannot, sit, stay, behave and all that. 

so i decided to give the centre a call. errr, the answer that i got was not so pleasing and welcoming. maybe puan zuraini tu xsihat sbb bunyik mcm serak2 suara dia. but nvm, she said i can go to the centre right away after 6pm to find out more. afterall, aku nk tanye fees je. registration rm100. monthly rm300. quite ok. kut. kalau aktiviti die sama mcm hannah aku rase worth it. dian lovesssss to mingle with friends so i think it will be interesting.

ok, while writing this, tetibe rase mcm jumpe byk lg alasan utk hantar dian ke nursery. suddenly terfikir tahun depan. my sister who just gave birth to a baby boy pon akan hantar anak die kt rumah my mom utk dijaga oleh kak umi bile die dh start keje nnt. so mesti la baby lebih perlukan perhatian kan. n where will dian be at that time? how about her makan and everything? actually kalo kt nursery pon same je she wont get the direct attention dr tukang jaga tu but at least she got friends and she got to learn things too.

tp tah  laa.. mcm kesian pon ye jgak. mcm xsanggup sebenarnye. lebih2 lagi bile imagine dian yg nnt tah mcmane. dh la kt nursery nnt there will be totally strangers. kt sane xde mak abah, xde adik2 yg bole diharap utk tgk2 kan dian kalau2 dia jatuh, kalau2 die sakit, kalau2 die cranky, moody and clingy.

fuhhhh.. kalau fikir, sampai sudah xjumpe cara utk puas kan hati (unless si kak umi ubah attitude). btw, ini blog bondamama shah alam kalo ade yg in case teringin nk tau jgak.

http://bmkc24.blogspot.com/

hang on there dian. mak akan carik yg the best for u ok?

arghhhh.. rindu. k la, bai.. nk blk jumpe dian!

Im back! - with dian birthday party ideas

hola holi!!!

akhirnya sampai jugak masa dan seru untuk update blog yg kecil lagi hina ni. its been a while sbb peralihan kehidupan yang sedang berlaku. alhamdulillah, sekarang dh start kje baru. its a lovely place surrounded by lovely people. insyallah lovely paycheck too. kekeke.. tp kalau ade offer2 menarik yg lebih lovely, xmustahil aku berhijrah lagi. dimana ade rezeki, disitu ade aku. =P

nothing much yg interesting utk diupdate. mungkin dian saja lah topik "hangat" yg ade. fyi, she's 10mth 4wks now n alhamdulillah, dh menapak dari hall sampai ke dapur tanpa jatuh walau mengambil masa kurang lebih 3minit sbb die nk imbang2 badan dulu, tepuk2 tgn dulu, tegur2 org dulu. gigi yang ke 7 dan ke 8 pun dh nmpk bayang.

dian's birthday will be on the 5th of november. hari maal hijrah, insyallah. and as a super excited mom, i'll definitely throw her a party. 1month ++ until the party, si mak dh pon menempah kek. kekeke.. hover sgt kan. xpela, anggap je mak memang suke nk isi masa lapang. browsing ideas is one of the thing that i really enjoy doing especially sebelum tdo.

listed few themes but only one have been chosen. nah nk share skit idea theme yg menarik yg aku dh jumpe..

1. owl themed party - sapin salleh doesnt quite like the whole owl idea thing but i think its super cute to the max.

2. minnie mouse - mikka moushka, mickey mouse!!!! budak mane yg xsuke mickey mouse club house kan? sekumpulan haiwan yang bermain sambil belajar dgn bantuan masketool <-- abaikan ejaan cz aku cume tau sebut. dian pon suke tgk smbil perhatikan mak die joget tarian hot dog hot dog hot digadee dog. theme ni sgt interesting walaupun sedikit common. bahan2 pon mudah diperolehi. the only thing is, telinga die warna hitam. ntah knp, i found it so wrong having black color in a girl's birthday party. kemonnnnnnn..

3. star themed party - kalo tema ni ala2 matang la skit. yet very cute and cool.. sesuai utk both gender, boy or girl or kalo combine, theme ni mmg munasabah.

4. circus themed party - circus mmg fun!!!! colorful, cheerful, mmg best la! melonjak2 hati kalau hadiri party bertema circus mcm mmg pgi circus btol2.

menarik kan kan kan? mane la aku xexcited. pdhal kalo pk logic, dian baru setahun kut. mane la die mengerti party2 tema ni. obviously, mak die je yg nk syok sendiri. ho ho ho.. kalo tau dek bapaknye, sure kne marah. tp kalo xkne gune bajet yg melampau xmarah kut. 

ni conversation yg pnah dilakukan bersama husband which made me feel a little erkkkk?@#@$!%

me : abg, birthday dian nnt kite beli kek mcm2 ni eh? (sambil tunjuk gambo kek warna2 pastel)

husband : pucatnya.. cari la yg kiut2 yg katun2.

me : alaaa... dian kecik lagi la. die bkn tau pon katun2 ni. (dan2 underestimate dian)

husband : eley, b nk kek2 pucat2 ni sbb b yg suke kan? bkn sbb dian kn? kn? kn?

me : foine!!!!!

husband : carik kek katun. abg pon suke katun. kalo bole barbie.

ade ke nk kek barbie tu??? kemon husband, kemonnnnn... kek barbie tu kite simpan utk majelis hari jadi dian yg ke 4 ke ke 5 ke la.. hurmmmm.. nmpk xkami laki bini xberapa sehaluan kt sini? but skrg problem solved. which most of the things decided by me without any acknowledment by him. hehehe.. sonang. kite ckp yg basic2 je. like the determined theme n color, the menu n such. part deco2, hal2 berkaitan tema, aku pk n decide n buat sendiri bagi mengelak bebelan yg cume hanya mendatangkan kemarahan.

ok la, hari pon dh jumaat. next week dh october. dh bole masuk gear 4 utk preparation. as at now, kek n dessert buffet done.  ngeh ngeh ngeh.. siap dessert buffet which im gonna kelentong the total price to husband for the sake of keharmonian rumah tangga. balance will from my pocket. kuikuikui (cross finger he wont be reading this). n owh, to those who question, nope.. this time xbrape rajin nk olah buffet table sendiri walaupun sebenarnye boleh n lebih menjimatkan kalo buat sendiri. but i decided not to. makcik dh tuo.. makcik dh xbrapo kuaso dh nk buek sumo ni.

so, till then geng..

bai!

yesterday, all my trouble seems so far away

tajuk xbrape nak ade kaitan dgn ape yg nk dibebel kan. cume nak bgtau kt sini yg post kali ni adalah post terakhir. i mean, post terakhir yg akan ku karang kan dari pc yg dh berjasa selama kurang lebih 3thn. lps ni, i'll be moving to a new place. dh xpakai dh pc berpassword sacc@1234. jgn kang tersilap log in sudah.

pc ni la buat hapdate perkembangan kawin. buat save gambo kalo nk update psl mase nk sambut anak dulu. fuhhh pc...

honestly, this is my first time jumping job from one to another. makcik ni mudo laei.. baru ni haa nk blajo kek tompek kojo baghu. semoga semua nye dipermudahkan la ek..

btw, hari ni pon adalah hari last i kje dihari sabtu. hoyeah!!!!!! sempat before tinggal kan dian td bgtau die, 

"dian tunggu mak blk tghari nnt ye. kjap je.. psni mak xkje hari sabtu lg"

sebak yet very happy. tempat ni la aku blaja mcm2. kenal ramai org. macam2 ragam. alhamdulillah, semua yg dh dilalui tu tggl kan remarks in my life utk guna in the future. 

ckp psl kje baru, tah knp allah bg pilihan pulak dlm pada nk bagi rezeki baru. dgn current boss nye dok asik buat drama berbayar suh aku stay, offer sane offer sini.. Ya Allah, memintak la pilihan yg aku buat kali ni adalah pilihan yg betul.

semua dh tggl kenangan.. xpe, kenangan mengajar kite. n i do learned a lot from here.. thanks so much SACC. u will always be in my memory.

n alang2 dh tulis begini, nk ucap skali la selamat hari raya kepada semua. this might be my last entry until hari raya too. mintak maaf kalo ade entry2 yg mengguris hati. i pon dh maaf kan sume nye la ape2. so kosong2 la harap nye.

enjoy ur raya semua!!!!! muahhhhh!!!!

the best month of the year

ramadan al-mubarak everyone..

lame beno xupdate blog. maaf kan saya blog. walaupun hari2 bukak blog semata nk bace update blog org lain, still xpunya pengisian yg interesting utk dikongsi di blog sendiri.

but today, i feel like expressing my feeling at the very moment. its july, its ramadan.. last week was the date of my birthday. alhamdulillah, husband xlupe. he wished me at 12 o'clock on the dot. ape yang lebih menggembirakan, he even wake dian up sambil ckp, "dian hari ni birthday mak, wish mak happy birthday jom". n to my surprise, dian bgn n terus main bersama2 kami. what more can i ask for. my little family is the best gift ever. syukur alhamdulillah. 

hadiah plak, thn ni paling lebat. hahaha.. dapat handbag from mak, new phone and a watch from husband. besides all the material gifts that i received, i also received a new job at a new company. alhamdulillah!!!! finally, my effort of job hunting has been paid off. im very blessed by Him for the new path of rezeki. insyallah, my nawaitu will always be earning for my little child. for dian. 

btw, i dh start masak for dian. n since i mendapat pujian daripada kak umi on how dian loves to eat the food that i made, terus bersemangat sgt nk masak. smpai sanggup turun masak walaupun dh pukul 9 mlm. (which i baru buat mlm td). hari ni call mak, mak kate dian mkn jgak makanan yg i buat tu.

k la, blurr nk type panjang2. just nk share psl tu..

btw, hari tu buat gathering sebelum puasa dgn sapin, poya n lisut.. then kami ke baby expo. dian n is (anak sapin) masuk pertandingan merangkak n dian won 2nd place!!!!!!! walaupun kalah to is tp she's the winner in my heart. im so proud of her! sobs.. dian ni kecik2 dah bangga kan mak ayah.. terima kasih anak ku, terima kasih..

nah la.. silakan tgk gambo dian yg dipetik dari IG..

for more, feel free to visit my ig : frzm

i decided to make it public since selepas ditimbang tara, i've nothing to hide to anyone. saya ok saje. life saya transparent. or at least i know whatever appropriate to share n whatever not. its basically just about dian actually. kalo rasa nk tgk update si little potpet ni selalu, feel free to visit. no harm..

selamat berpuasa, selamat berbuka puasa and selamat hari raya!!! (in case there will be no update till raya nnt)

membebel je la

selamat hari jumaat!!! lame dh rasenye xmembebel. maaf, xde content yg menarik. life jd mak ni mmg menyeronokkan habis! tp xde la sume bende pon nk dicerita n dikongsi. plg koman, account instagram mmg dipenuhi dgn gambar anak. to those yg rase mcm ek eley asik post gambar anak, just so u know, having dian is the greatest thing i have ever achieve. itu la nyawa saya, bekalan saya utk akhirat. so, yeah.. dian is 8 mths n im still obsess with her.

since hari ni xberapa busy, puas jgak baca blog sane sini, so i decided to post an entry on my own blog. nothing really interesting actually. so, kalo rase mcm anda tidak bersedia untuk membaca entry ringan, feel free to leave my blog.

dian is turning 8mos next couple of weeks. currently die mmg suke sgt nk mendengar telepon. *bkn ckp telepon ye*. everyday i have to call her because die asik menyibuk bile my mom or my maid tgh ckp telepon. die ingat mak die la tu. smpai mak n kak umi terpaksa text or call me semata nak bagi die dgr ape i ckp. so funny walau kadang2 rase mcm "dian, mak tgh kje ni!!!". mak n kak umi always said that bile i on the phone dgn dian muke die mcm faham sgt. she do interact with me. tp ckp "haaa.. haaa.." je la. but most of the time, she will just stumble upon sbb dgr suara mak die tp xnmpk muke.

dian's diet, errrr.. xla se-interesting mane. part ni dian agak malang skit sbb mak die bkn la seorg yg pandai memasak ape tah lg meng-explore resepi2 baru. nk masak bubur pon i malas ini kan yang macam2. as at now, dian masih cume makan sekali sehari. i beli kan die nestum. she loves nestum + fruits. dgn meal yg cume sekali sehari pon dian cume minum 14oz of milk daily saje, ini kan kalau lebih. to be honest, i agak sedih bile dian kurang minum susu i. i made it with love ok dian. i brewed it especially for u! hehehe.. *babak mak xbole terima anak dh besar*. apart from that kadang2 i bagi je dian mkn ape yg i mkn. hehehe.. part ni i xrase kejam pon. i mmg dlm keadaan separa memaksa dia utk mkn or at least rase. i ckp kt die "dian kne kuat. this is life!" hahaha.. kuajo kan. tp alhamdulillah, dian xde mslh pon. in fact, die seronok kut. i bagi die rase aiskrim skit smlm, alhamdulillah no flue or what so ever. chocolate indulgence secret recipe is one of her favorite. i hope with that perut die dh kuat.

dian's poop, hehehe.. dh berubah. unlike before. syukur saje dian suke sgt minum plain water. so, die xde la mcm berak keras ke ape. stool die xsecair mase die baby, cume muke die time melabur tu agak kelakar la. so like every other mommy, kite mesti bagi sokong 150% bile time anak kite nk poop.

dian's development, die dh bole berdiri with support. biase diri kan die dlm playpen n die sgt menyukainya. she's also in the midst of trying to stand on her own. stakat berpaut dan melutut tu dh master dh. cant wait to see her stand on her own feet. i always encourage her to "panjat! panjat! panjat!" agaknye die kate "mak tunggu la dian dh pandai panjat nnt mak akan ckp turun! turun! turun!".

my milk production alhamdulillah masih maintain. cant see myself stop feeding my own daughter from my own breast just yet. insyallah, kalo diizinkan, i want to feed her until she turn two.

asik cerita pasal dian, so this is the latest of dian for your eyes only..

last but not least, dian n yours truly..