i am still grieving

i lost my phone.

to those yg ade fb or ig aku kompom dh tau. xtau mcmane nk express kesedihan dlm hati. kesedihan ni got nothing to do with the wtv contacts or photos or videos or wtv things i have inside the phone. but i feel so sad sbb hp tu aku dpt sempena my previous birthday. blerghhhhh.. xpenah rase down berhari2 utk bende yg aku hilang se lama ni.

i lost the phone on sunday n skrg wednesday pon xdpt nk jumpe lg. mungkin ke phone tu skrg ade kt tgn org lain? tuhan je yg tau. tp kalo ikut kan, hp tu hilang kt rumah. so, i still hope yg hp tu masih bertuan kan aku instead of org lain. 

selama kehilangan handphone tu, mulut ni xlekang berdoa mintak supaya Allah temukan balik aku dgn phone tu. hahaha.. to that extend! but seriously, i want it so bad. kalo ade org offer beli phone baru pon blom tentu aku nak. aku nak phone aku yg tu balik. that samsung s4 yang mak aku beli dgn adik2 aku for my birthday kat kedai kat subang..

ntah knp phone tu slalu je kenakan aku. about a month ago die buat prangai xbole di-charge. tp aku semangat n gagahi jgak hantar die gi service. gado2 aku laki bini. ni bile dh elok hilang plak. i cant stop blaming myself. if only u knew how much effort my mom made to get me the phone. utk seorg mak yg berumur 55thn dan ade anak lain aku rase mcm touched jgak la. 

i told mak how bad i felt towards the lost. mak kate org xde akal je yg purposely hilang kan brg die. mak kate its ok. brg tu pon tuhan pinjam kan utk kite pakai. but mak, hp tu hilang sbb fira careless, bongok pi xingat phone tu letak mane.

have tried few doa n tips kawan bagi utk menjumpakan barang hilang. tp still no signs of having it back. xpela, kalo ade rezeki ade la. kalo x, aku redhoooooo.. T_T

last posing dgn phone tu..

mintak doa skali ye kut2 kite doa reramai Allah terbukak ati nk pulang kan phone tu kat i. #lapairhingus

Noor Dian Medina - Milestone

baru perasan yg aku dh lame xshare pasal progress dian. well, dian dh besar skrg. aku pon ade terlalu byk benda going on in my life. byk transition yg nak kne settle. but alhamdulillah, masih dpt enjoy achievement anak satu persatu.

dian skrg 11bln 3minggu. lagi 2minggu genap umur dian setahun. cuma tuhan yang tau betapa bersyukurnye aku jadi mak dian. seronok!!!

dian skrg dh ada 8btg gigi and dah tau kunyah makanan. so makanan die xpayah dh nk blend2. aku ni mmg jenis selamba je suap dian ape je yg aku mkn kecuali la kalo makanan tu pedas ke ape. knowing my taste pon mmg suke yg simple2, so most of it bole share dgn dian. dian lovesssss nasi lemak. so akan slalu share nasi lemak dgn die. n so does nasi ayam. kalau aku keluar mkn dgn azam normally kami akan order creamy soup (chicken/mushroom) or french fries utk dian. mmg die akan mkn smpai abis satu bowl. kadang2 rase bersalah sbb tgk org lain kemain jaga diet anak. aku ni belasah je ape pon. kalo dian baca ni bile dian dh besar, just so u know, bukan sbb mak xsayang dian mak bagi dian mkn fries la ape la, tp mak rase u r big enough to enjoy it. jahat la mak kalo mkn mekdi pstu suap dian porridge tanpa garam. unless la mak ni pon mmg diet onye org. lps tu plak mak dian ni mmg fail bab masak2. harap dian paham. tp mak xrase semata sbb tu dian rasa mak xsayang dian kan???

skrg ni alhamdulillah dian masih exclusive breastfeed. pnah jugak terfikir nk beli fm utk stand by sbb skrg ni susu aku xla byk sgt. kadang2 kesian dian minum air putih je xminum susu. mcm skrg ni semata2 sbb lupe store susu yg pam ari tu terus lost tune supply susu dian. kalo nak keep track blk bole, tp aku kne telebih rajin la. insyallah mlm ni nk melebihkan rajin tu since badan dh sihat skit ni.

n btw, dian skrg dh berjaya jalan like a pro. huyung hayang gak la skit tp ok la for an 11mths baby. mslh yg kami hadapi skrg ialah mencari kasut yg sesuai utk dian. dian pnye kaki ni satu mcm sikit. tapak kaki die normal je pjg nye mcm baby lain, tp tebal kaki die tu yg... how to say eh? tebal laa.. kadang2 kesian kaki die sampai berbekas agaknya sbb ketat sgt kt bahagian atas tapak kaki tu. 

but the best part about dian, she loves loves lovessss to smile and laugh. n marah too. she's a baby with full of expression. n syukur die xbyk ragam n senang mengamuk. she's very easy to pujuk, alhamdulillah..

waktu tdo dian dari dulu smpai skrg sentiasa awal. she sleeps around 8-9pm daily. senang kje mak. kikiki.. pstu bgn pagi pon msti la awal kan. awal pon xla awal sgt. same je mcm kite2 sume bgn subuh. pendek kate, dian sgt senang dihandle when it comes to tdo malam. bgn mlm mintak susu pon jarang. so, i dnt have to face those sleepless night sgt.

ok la.. itu saje. sekian..

What-a-day Wednesday

assalamualaikum..

hari ni perasaan mcm tah pape. rase mcm ok rase mcm xok. actually sebenarnye dh ok dh. cume sakit badan ni buat aku rase nak nangis. 

tak tau knp since smlm bdn rase mcm sengal2. rasa mcm penat sgt. pdhal dok dlm opis je. kalo suruh aku describe rase die skrg ni actually aku rase mcm rangka peparu blah blkg aku ni nk tanggal. 

so last nite, mmg xbole tdo lena. sejuk, dian ok ek ok ek, sejuk, lenguh, sejuk, sejuk, panas, sejuk, panas, panas, sejuk. tu pon aku dh telan 2bijik panadol actifast. so bgn pagi ni still rase mcm tulang2 nk runtuh. tp mengenangkan hari ni ade mission yg msti diselesaikan, aku gagahi je. 

elok dh nk bersiap gi opis skali bukak bag pam nampak ade 2botol susu dian yg masing2 berisi 4oz susu selamat semadi kat situ. demm it.. dian dh la xde susu lain. kitorg ibarat kais hari ni minum esok. xkais hari ni x minum la esok. tp case skrg dh kais tp telupe simpan dlm fridge!!!!!!

ok, skrg br terfikir. ade hikmah. mayb susu tu xelok kalo dian minum. n kalau xsebab aku kne balik pam susu n hantar ke dian, aku xdpt nk rest kjap during lunch hour. nak baringggggggg..

but above all, mission aku dh accomplished. i finally tendered my resignation at my company ni. yayyy!!!! legaaaaa.. tp sakit badan..

im looking for replacement for my current position. im a secretary at IDCC (Shah Alam's new convention centre and shopping mall). building xsiap lg tp dijangka siap 1st quarter of next year. in case u wonder, its the huge building kt tepi federal highway. kalo ade yg minat bole email resume to fira@idcc.com.my. kalo nak tanye2 je ke bole email kt my personal address zafira.a.alias@gmail.com. preferably kalo background in hospitality and f&b. harap sgt kalo ade yg bole start ASAP. because december, i nak start kje kt kampeni baru. 

sime darby pnye pasal, non-exec pon non-exec la. janji gaji ngam n bermula la satu perjalanan career yg baru. insyallah..

so, kalo ade yg nk kje tu let me know ye.. the sooner the better!

bye.

dilemma : org gaji dgn nursery

selamat pagi, salam sejahtera.. hari ni mood yours truly xbrape nk baik. reason adalah sebab pagi2 dh sumpah seranah maid yg suke2 hati nak amik cuti. seriously, benci nk tolerate dgn org yg penting kan diri sndiri. xpk ke brape ramai org yg akan disusah kan bile die decide nk amik cuti. n because aku xde choice (since mak pon xde die pgi penang) aku terpaksa la terima je fact yg die nk cuti tu. so, terpaksa carik solution lain. mujur husband xkje hari ni. n kat rumah die pon slalu ade org. so, harap kan dorg je la tolong tgk2 kan dian. 

td husband ade ckp, xbole ke ckp dgn kak umi tu kalo xdtg kje potong gaji or wtv. biar die sedar yg die dh susah kan org. but i dont have heart to say that. maybe sbb skrg ni xde choice n i pretty much rely on her to look after dian while im at work. dilemma kan? n seriously, i never like the idea of asking the moms to look after my child. once awhile ok. but everyday, nahhhh.. 

dulu aku pnah google around konon nk ade second option by sending dian at a day care or something. baby sitter, xkut.. same je mcm kak umi. so mayb nursery. bile keadaan dh jd mcm ni, baru la aku beria nk pilih 2nd option tu. kalo xaku buat relax je. i remember the last time aku pk nk hantar dian ke nursery mase tu dian dlm 6-7bln. still too baby. so aku letak tepi dulu idea tu. nak pulak nursery around my area sume mcm hangsap je. tp skrg aku terfikir balik since dian pon dh pandai jalan n dah pandai roaming around the house.

maybe aku akan propose to husband about this idea. today sambung blk google n aku br tau kt seksyen24 ade satu branch bondamama baru bukak. tahun ni jgak aku rasa. pretty impress with the centre since lisa pon hantar hannah kt bondamama puchong. kt situ anak die buat kad, ade celebration this n that. n i think its pretty cool! skrg maybe aku xhantar lg but mayb aku nk consider once dian is one and a half or two perhaps? when she can already understand no, cannot, sit, stay, behave and all that. 

so i decided to give the centre a call. errr, the answer that i got was not so pleasing and welcoming. maybe puan zuraini tu xsihat sbb bunyik mcm serak2 suara dia. but nvm, she said i can go to the centre right away after 6pm to find out more. afterall, aku nk tanye fees je. registration rm100. monthly rm300. quite ok. kut. kalau aktiviti die sama mcm hannah aku rase worth it. dian lovesssss to mingle with friends so i think it will be interesting.

ok, while writing this, tetibe rase mcm jumpe byk lg alasan utk hantar dian ke nursery. suddenly terfikir tahun depan. my sister who just gave birth to a baby boy pon akan hantar anak die kt rumah my mom utk dijaga oleh kak umi bile die dh start keje nnt. so mesti la baby lebih perlukan perhatian kan. n where will dian be at that time? how about her makan and everything? actually kalo kt nursery pon same je she wont get the direct attention dr tukang jaga tu but at least she got friends and she got to learn things too.

tp tah  laa.. mcm kesian pon ye jgak. mcm xsanggup sebenarnye. lebih2 lagi bile imagine dian yg nnt tah mcmane. dh la kt nursery nnt there will be totally strangers. kt sane xde mak abah, xde adik2 yg bole diharap utk tgk2 kan dian kalau2 dia jatuh, kalau2 die sakit, kalau2 die cranky, moody and clingy.

fuhhhh.. kalau fikir, sampai sudah xjumpe cara utk puas kan hati (unless si kak umi ubah attitude). btw, ini blog bondamama shah alam kalo ade yg in case teringin nk tau jgak.

http://bmkc24.blogspot.com/

hang on there dian. mak akan carik yg the best for u ok?

arghhhh.. rindu. k la, bai.. nk blk jumpe dian!